Thats right, its 2011, a new year, a new start, time to refresh, get up and change the way things are. 
Its funny how we think a new year is a new beginning, when in reality its just another day with a different date attached.  Nothing has really changed at all, yet we seem obsessed with making it into something significant.  We set new years resolutions, make new goals, we try to find meaning, try to give ourselves hope that this new year will be better than the last. 

But come on....
How many of us stick to our resolutions...

How many of us actually achieve all these wonderful ideas we have at the beginning of each year.  It would be interesting to know the percentage of people that keep and achieve what they set for themselves.
So 2011 has rolled around and I think to myself, just like everyone else... I need to change my life, I need to get over this slump, I need to stop been lonely and depressed.  I need to get over the fact that if all my plans had worked, I would be celebrating my marriage, a whole year... but im not, and that plan, like many others didnt happen.  If you've read my earlier posts, u will see and understand that Im not married, and no longer engaged, and yes, Ive been living in a ditch of self pity and destruction and I need to change it.
So will this be the year? Will 2011 be the year I finally do something? Or will this be yet another year that I set myself goals and dreams and I yet again achieve nothing but failure.  Ive wanted to much for my life, and got none of it, but even now... I still have these dreams, these hopes, these ideals visions of what I want for myself - a job, to travel, to be married, to have children... to be happy and not alone. 

But how does one achieve this?
Do we set our goals so low that they are easy to achieve, without any effort, and that there is no way we can fail?  Or do we not set goals at all?  Or when we do set goals, do we simply not tell anyone about them?  So that if we do fail, no one else knows we did, except for us? 

I guess we are all motivated by different things, and failure can effect us all differently, but even if we hide our failures they are still failures, and most of the time we are our own worst enemy, and we judge ourselves more harshly then anyone else.  
But what is failure?  Is it the act of simply not achieving a task?  Or does it simply mean that once we dont achieve the task we give up, and stop fighting?
I think failure can be related to war... Fighting against your enemies, giving it your all so you can win... and even after putting it all your effort and fighting as hard as you could, you lose the battle.  Disappointment, failure, death, hurt, sorrow and all these emotions come over you as you leave wounded and discouraged.  But loosing the battle does not mean you have lost the war.  Thats right, one lost battle is not the end!!!
One battle is not the end of the war, and when you walk away, you have a chance to pick yourself back up again and prepare for the next battle. 

Just like in life, failure isnt the end of the war, we all have our own personal battles - depression, heartbreak, poverty, injuries, pain, illness, discouragement... and so many other things we struggle with, but each battle we fight against and lose, is not the end.  There will be many more battles to come, many more fights to fight, and one loss does not mean we wont win next time. 

So yes, here is 2011, and yes, I have decided what I want from this year, and even though its so common for me to set goals and not achieve them, and I have failed with them so often in the past, it is only when I stop setting them, when I stop trying, when I stop having hope that I have truely failed. 
So here it is.... this year, written for the first time and not just set in my head, set in concrete where I cannot change them or lie about never setting any if I fail... but this year... 2011, my goals, the things I want, are simple:

This year, my focus and my goals are to sort out my health, this time next year I want to be healthy, I want to be able to run 2.4k (a goal I did last year in 20mins) in maybe 15mins?  or even 17mins.  
I would also like to save money, I would like to sort my finances out.  I would like to have enough money for me to travel overseas, and not worry about cash.

So there you have it... thats all... not to much and achievable if I really try.  No goals to do with men, or having a boyfriend, something that ultimately I cant even control.  But goals that I can do, on my own, and its all about me, and the motivation I have to achieve them.  This year I really do hope for a new beginning and a new start and I am going to do my best to stay focused to achieve what I have now set out for myself.